holy hell of a day

i try not to talk about the kids all this much on the blog and have it become my venting site. but holy mother of the lord above it was a hard one today. i won't go into specifics but it sucked ass.

Right now I am listening to one child cry about how her hermit crab hates her b/c it pinched her. the other one is mad at me b/c we were saying what we are thankful for and i said daddy and she said i thought you would say us, and i said you mean the 2 kids who DO NOT LISTEN to me at all. they are both in my bed and i am seriously in losing it mode.

i would love to go sit in a vat of brownies with ice cream but i will NOT do it b/c i NEED to get serious about eating NO more crap. as i reviewed photos from the race i just ran i noticed that i looked a bit fuller than the other ladies. i know i could use to lose 10 lbs and it would be much better for racing and stuff. my down fall is the crap and sweets. i do believe that if i just cut out the crap i could drop a few right away. i know that my stress level is so high at times that it is the only way for me to destress, this is all at night b/c i exercise in the am. and yes exercise is a major destresser but i don't at night and that is when i need it.

anyways it was one bad mofo day. but a new one tomorrow.

thankful for living near the beach (even though this is a problem for my ocd girl) i still love being near the ocean. thankful for my mom. thankful for sleep.

how much protein is good for a snack ? how many grams ? see how my crazy ass mind works - just jumping around